Hi all! If you’re new here allow me to introduce myself. My name is Maggie, I’m a wife, mother, and creator of Itsy Bitsy Embroidery. I have this blog section on my website as a helping community for mothers as well as an expressive area for things that have worked for me that I’d love to share, think of it as a lifestyle blog. Of course I will also talk embroidery, how I got started, and easy crafts for beginners. There are comments at the end of this post, so feel free to ask questions or suggest something you would like me to do a blog post about. Also, don’t forget to hop on our Instagram and enter into our giveaway! Once we hit 200 followers on instagram, I’ll be doing a giveaway for one lucky person to win a sweatshirt or t-shirt of their choosing.
So let’s just dive into it and talk postpartum…..no one EVER does. And to that same point, no one EVER prepares you for how bad or how hard it can truly get. IF and I mean if, they do talk about it, they make it some glamorous, unrealistic comeback and make it look effortless and easy to their social media followers. But typically, It’s like some forbidden fruit that no one ever wants to touch on. So knowing what to do and what is best for you is something you have to discover on your own. Even our doctors don’t offer up much assistance. They check you over at your 2 week appt and 6 week appt and send you on your merry way. If you’re like me, you went through different waves during postpartum, and just when you thought you were through the thick of it another curveball and change was thrown your way.
I am just about 2 years postpartum now and boy oh BOY has it been a journey. Postpartum was easy the first 8 months. I breastfed, was an overproducer and because of that dropped every pound I gained plus ten pounds extra. Could eat how I wanted without a care in the world. I was able to fit into clothes that I hadn’t fit into for a long time, but held onto with the hope that someday I could wear them again. I felt great, was on cloud nine because I honestly looked the best I ever had, minus my stretch marks, but even those didn’t bother me. I felt so confident that I did a lingerie shoot 2.5 months postpartum and boudoir photos for my husband as a gift on our wedding day at 6 months postpartum. People were shocked I felt confident enough to do either, I was shocked too. But I did it and they are some of my favorite photos I have done professionally because in them I see what my body accomplished and am proud of how I came back from my changes. But that high and confidence only lasted so long, because then I stopped breastfeeding, because it was hard, mentally it took everything out of me. I stopped breastfeeding, switched jobs from a very active on my feet for 12 hours a day job, back to a desk job. And then postpartum became HARD.
Hard because I had to figure out time to workout again and make it a priority, which I hadn’t worked out since before I was pregnant because I was nauseous every single day of my pregnancy with my daughter, to the point it was hard to get out of bed some days. I had such bad motion sickness from just walking that the thought of working out wasn’t realistic at all. So naturally I came up with every excuse in the book on how I couldn’t work out once postpartum hit. I think just about every self care thing I used to love pre pregnancy had gone out the window at this point because I didn’t want to burden anyone asking them to watch my daughter so I could break away, not to mention everything was changing again and for the worse, leading to slight PPD for a while. I was gaining weight again, losing all my hair in huge chunks leaving massive bald spots, my skin changed and I felt I looked older than I was. Not to mention my boobs deflated and looked like quarter of the way filled water balloons. Every inch of my body was different. I didn’t recognize myself and my mind started to play tricks on me. I might not have had PPD when I went to that 6 week checkup with my OBGYN, but I certainly had it a little over a year after delivery. Something people don’t tell you is that it takes your body 2 years to recover from the changes of pregnancy and postpartum, and wilder than that, people also don’t share that you can get PPD for up to 2 years after delivery. Which when you stop to think about it makes so much sense, you spent 9 months growing a human, your organs moved and rearranged to adapt to that change, it doesn’t just recover over night. Since we go through so many different changes during postpartum, factoring in the timeline of PPD also makes a lot of sense. It took 6 months to start losing my hair postpartum, after that change my hormones adjusted again and with that came my skin changes. So once again, I felt like I didn’t recognize myself in my own body. There’s many different layers to the recovery of pregnancy, labor and postpartum. Which is why women, in my own biased and humble opinion is the reason we are total BADASSES. We adapt and we always power through. No matter what challenges are thrown our way, we always get the job done. With little applause at the end.
So now here I am today, almost 2 years postpartum, preparing for summer at the lake, and upset with how I look in a bikini. My husband and I also have a wedding to attend in a month, and when I started looking at dresses to wear, I was instantly horrified at how any of the ones I liked would look on me. So now that winter has disappeared, I FINALLY am starting to feel like myself again in my body, the sun has finally come out again with hints of spring on the horizon and I’ve found the motivation to get my ass back to the gym, or to at least be active in some sort of way throughout the day for at least an hour if I am not able to make it to the gym. I’m FINALLY on an uphill climb with my skin and hair though (silver lining). So I just woke up one day and just said do it, just go, and get yourself back to being you so you can look great in whatever dress you decide to wear to the wedding or whatever bikini you want to wear on the lake. I’m not a morning person so I pushed myself to go on a Monday at lunchtime. And let me tell you, I’ve been consistent with it for 2 weeks now, and haven’t felt this good in a long time. I know 2 weeks doesn’t sound like a long time, but after not going for so long and the struggles I have had throughout postpartum, it’s huge for me.
I have the luxury of working from home part time. On the days I’m not at home with my daughter I workout at lunchtime, on the days I am home with my daughter, working from home, I take her on walks around the neighborhood that is filled with plenty of booty busting hills or I do full body workouts and meditation by the pool while my daughter naps which also allows me to work on my tan, an exciting added bonus. Adding in meditation has been great for my mental health, I’m so busy all day long with working a full-time job, being a mom and running a business that it’s nice to just take some time, unwind and recenter myself and let all the chaos in my mind settle for a bit. Now, a lot of you may be looking at the photos throughout this article and rolling your eyes because while I haven’t gained an absurd amount of weight, and I don’t have a huge amount of work I need to put in to have a total transformation. I have an extra 15-20 lbs to lose, and for me, because I am only 5’3, is a lot of extra weight for me to hold. My thighs have gotten bigger, my arms bigger, my midsection squishier especially thanks to the added challenge of being a c-section mama Luckily angles and the right clothes in pictures are able to help me hide a lot of those insecurities and changes. But they are still there, and the longer I allow them to “just be” the harder they will be to get rid of.
Point of sharing all of this? To hopefully strike a cord with the other mamas who feel alone on their journey and are struggling mentally with seeing everyone else having such glamorous bounce back stories. I know I struggled with it and sometimes still do. People have made social media a huge unrealistic standard and it’s very easy to get lost in the “why doesn’t my life look that simple?” mentality. Especially when the “influencers” probably aren’t being all that transparent to their followers. So I hope to make my community an accepting one and a safe one where other mamas can be their authentic selves with each other and not have unrealistic standards. In my early postpartum, when I dropped insane weight, I had so many women reach out to me during that period who were shocked by my “bounce back” and asked what I did. I felt completely guilty having to tell them that it was simply breastfeeding and a good metabolism at the time, not to mention my active job. So here I am being vulnerable and showing everyone that social media isn’t real life and that everyone struggles, and there are many different waves to this journey. Photos can hide a lot with the right angles and attire too.
But before anyone asks what my “routine” is. There isn’t one, every day is different and I think that has made a huge difference with working out. It’s not repetitive, it is whatever fits my day, making it feel like less of a chore. Some days I am walking on the treadmill or climbing the stair master at the gym, other days it’s just a walk around the neighborhood, and then there are days where it’s a combination of a walk and doing a full body workout outside or sometimes it’s as simple as just meditating to recenter myself. You can literally work out anywhere, anytime, and when you’re a mom, convenience is key. You don’t need a fancy gym membership. You just need what works for you and your lifestyle. You don’t even need a lot of equipment. I don’t use any fancy weights or tools, I just use a mat because the concrete isn’t all that comfortable.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you for sticking through my long post. Let’s end on this note…as someone who always finds an excuse to not workout, and I mean EVERY excuse there is, I’m here to tell you to just go, even if it’s the last thing you want to do, do it for yourself. You owe yourself at least an hour to an hour and a half a day to mentally escape, unwind and reset. To help yourself be the best version of yourself, for you, your kids, and your partner. The impact working out again has had on me mentally has been so refreshing and exactly what I needed. One of my favorite quotes my entire life to motivate myself has always been “why put off till tomorrow what you can do today.” I wish I would have listened to it sooner and I’d be further along in my fitness journey of getting my body back to where I am happy with it again. But at least we are doing the damn thing now, better late than never, right?
Links:
Workout mat: https://amzn.to/41fMVWD
Audio baby monitor: https://amzn.to/3L5c3K2